Im alive!!

I feel really really good after quite a few years of worthless thinking and clouded with torrential emotions here I am floating at the shore in the end, more than happy to be me and just me. Wanna shout out from the roof-tops. Just so incredibly happy to be me, I LOVE ME.

She was a Phantom of delight
When first she gleamed upon my sight;
A lovely Apparition, sent
To be a moment's ornament;
Her eyes as stars of Twilight fair;
Like Twilight's, too, her dusky hair;
But all things else about her drawn
From May-time and the cheerful Dawn;
A dancing Shape, an Image gay,
To haunt, to startle, and waylay.

I saw her upon nearer view,
A Spirit, yet a Woman too!
Her household motions light and free,
And steps of virgin-liberty;
A countenance in which did meet
Sweet records, promises as sweet;
A Creature not too bright or good
For human nature's daily food,
For transient sorrows, simple wiles,
Praise, blame, love, kisses, tears, and smiles.

And now I see with eye serene
The very pulse of the machine;
A Being breathing thoughtful breath,
A Traveller between life and death;
The reason firm, the temperate will,
Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill;
A perfect Woman, nobly planned,
To warn, to comfort, and command;
And yet a Spirit still, and bright
With something of angelic light.

--- William Wordsworth

................

Walking across boundaries
Under the shadows of a past
There's a soul that cried to be freed
A feeling that wanted to be understood

A divine thought unto the redemption
Wouldn't die even as the spirits dampen
Born again to relive the dead inside
Again and again stronger than before

In that corner

It was dark, and the room smelled of a horrid stench, she slowly opened her eyes. They were swollen from all the crying she had been doing that she herself was unaware of.She tried to open them trying hard to bring her blurred vision into clarity.Surprised to find herself in a strange place she looked around anxiously.
The room wasn't ventilated enough nor did it look like the ones she knew before.She never knew any home before.

She slowly made a move to step out of her bed, she winced in pain as her nerves tightened at the attempt. The feeling struck like a lightening bringing her back to her senses.She gave birth to a baby yesterday.Just Yesterday!
All the thoughts came rushing into her mind.

Her eyes widened at the frightening realisation that her baby is not with her. Her dream of many tomorrows, and the innocent yesterdays is now gone. She couldn't move against the command of her sore body, but the haunting thought of the abandonment of her child made her fight her unyielding nerves.

They took it away, she doesnt know if its a boy or a girl.
She can hear it cry,tears were flowing down her cheeks.She knows its hungry,her aching chest told her that it has to be fed and soon.
She leaned against the wall to drag herself to strength, looking everywhere for a small bundle of clothes.Nothing did her tired eyes wanted to see but that,nothing else.
No its here somewhere,just here.Its not far. They were hiding it from her.
She was still calling out and as she came close they took it further away from her.She saw her baby in her own eyes, twas small and wrapped in white clothes, closed eyes, and those tiny little hands, she saw it sleeping in silent peace.
And suddenly with a jerk she was pushed into reality, it was a vision.
They are still hiding it from her, further and further away she followed her instincts as far her strength could carry her and she went on calling after her child.
So she went on and on until she found her child led by another vision or another whisper in the dark or in her imagination.


And then I opened my eyes,I felt terrible, never did any dream of mine pull my heart with so much gravitated pain. I dont know what it means, but it definitely doesn signify something I guess

Of that which was

I dream of nights together, just you and me
Darling why can’t you see,
The moment’s here and I want you with me
I traded my soul with your promise on my lips
There's a part of me which you own.
It only breathes when you are with me
Withering now as it is, make haste to come to me
And drown my soul into yours with your kiss

I don’t want to see a ‘morrow without you
So let us freeze these waves of time
And hold onto them till the other end of forever.

Forever in your eyes I saw
That forever was a day and it passed away
And now the night is so cold and silent

And the silence is a cacophony
Tearing me down to pieces a hundred
Yet I hear no voice, I heard it not since forever
The tune missed a note, which our hearts sang in sync
Will there be music again?

I sing alone every night and the wind whispers in my ear
Your promise is all I've got
And a picture of us which we painted is still alive
Darling I wait for you, come to me!
I write it on the wind, your sweet name my love
whispering ever so sweetly in my ears as it blew in twilight
And the fragrance of your breath brings the zephyr,
while the sea drenches my eyes as
tears of loneliness drain down the aching of my heart
It was in my eyes that they saw you and told me to hold fast

Hold fast the fears, the storm and the thunder inside of me
I looked upto heaven and the rains poured down
and cried along with me.

Inspired and written while listening to the song "Wait for me", a feeling that I will always hold dear